Globalization Evil

- That’s horrible! Mary’s cat was on the tree all afternoon! It took five firemen to rescue that poor thing!
- Oh my god! Mary must have been soooo frightened! How is she now?
- Not very well, she fainted 3 times and then the doctor said she should stay in bed for at least a week.
- Horrible indeed!

- Have you heard the news?
- No. What?
- Didn’t you listen to the radio or read the papers? It’s Mike, the baker!
- What about Mike?
- He was interviewed about the fire in his shop!
- What fire?
- The one he almost got! His brother prevented it the last minute!
- Oh, that would be dreadful! Poor Mike, how scared he must have been!

The troll’s village was completely isolated from the rest of the world, hidden inside a huge stone wall. These trolls made up their minds a lot time ago. They were totally against globalism. They didn’t want anything to do with all the other creatures of this planet even their neighbours and especially foreign visitors. Their gates were almost always closed. Their race would not mix with other cultures and certainly would not be forgotten.

They followed strictly all ancient troll beliefs, religion, tradition and rituals and managed to be autonomous by producing everything that a troll needs to survive; food, medicine, clothes, shoes, books, art and cosmetics.

They had come to this decision to build this stone wall around the village because things had turned very dangerous in the past. Their young children had started to use words from other languages like dwarfish, elfish and once, they heard a little troll singing the blues. Furthermore, there was another problem; it seemed to be extremely difficult to remember and follow their culture or religion.

All those foreigners made it difficult to remember of their ancestors, their gods and their religion. They even forgot all troll authentic art, traditional drinks, food and music! Troll history was about to be forgotten too.
The worst part was their role in the world. Being a troll didn’t seem that important any more. Troll news and their problems didn’t care anyone any more; it was as if they never happened at all.
Why would the world be interested to your unknown village flooded by your little stupid river? Who cares if a troll archaeologist translated all ancient troll symbols… in trollish? You should at least speak ten different languages before you accomplish great things; if you wanted to attract the interest of the world. And if you faced a catastrophe it’d better be bigger than the others or no one would be impressed.

The elder trolls took charge. If the world didn’t care for their important beings so would they. They kicked all foreigners out of their village and asked everyone to help build a tall stonewall around it. Now that was big news for the rest of the world but unfortunately trolls never found out. They also missed all the other great news of the world. Like the discovery of the cure of the only deadly troll virus. And the results of the biggest world research about the huge benefits for the brain after mixing races and cultures.
And all those new books about troll inheritance written...

Inside the walls they all just enjoyed the calm after things in the village went back to normal and so they started trolling happily again. Once more trolls were important; their history, their language, religion, food, ethics. The space inside those walls was the only world they wanted to know about and the only place that mattered to them.
And that would be very clever unless they didn’t live in a planet with others…

The rest of the world was now facing serious trouble. If they had kept in touch with it, they would know the trouble caused by that stupid troll machine they once sold to an elf. It was a weather machine that produced artificial rain clouds with rain. When gods found out, they were so furious that they killed all elf races with toxic rain.

They would also know that a spaceship with very ugly aliens had invaded their planet killing everyone on sight. Aliens tried at first to communicate with this beautiful planet’s inhabitants but no one seemed to understand their ancient troll symbol language. So, after everyone thought aliens were hostile, they tried to destroy their ship with missiles and that made them really mad.

They would know that dwarfs were all dead after been poisoned from the little unimportant river that carried all troll waste outside their village.

They would know why their lakes turned black, why their hair started to fall. They would know why the atmosphere was so thick, why the sun had turned green, why there was no rain in years and what was that smell…

Globalization is evil” said the elders while a mosquito was flying over the stone walls carrying the SJW453; the only deadly troll virus...

Inspired by: Curtis Schweitzer, Got Questions and Nathan White


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Unfulfilled missions

The philosopher came closer and sat on the black rock. “I think I can help you” he said. Cerberus stopped crying. He raised his middle head so as to better listen to what a philosopher would say about all this. He had to find a solution quickly. It had been centuries since he decided to do something about his life and he wouldn’t wait.

He would not use eternity as an excuse anymore. It was about time he took the big step. He wanted to live in a sunnier place. He hated Haros and all that bragging about his stupid boat and those names he and his Siren friends called him all the time. Of course, Hades was the best place for you if you were a monstrous dog with three heads, huge teeth and red eyes. It was actually the only place where you could find a permanent and well paid job without having to live in a cage, being whipped all the time or jumping through flames before a cheering crowd. Being the chief guard of Hade’s Gates was nice for the first five centuries. Then, Cerberus had had it.

He was so tired of the darkness and dead people. He was fed up with their anger, their fears, regrets and oh dear gods, all those unfulfilled missions.
They were all convinced they had left behind unfinished stuff and insisted on going back, fulfill them and then die. That was definitely the worst part of his job. He spent most of his working hours trying to keep dead humans inside Hade’s Gates.

It was inconceivable for the dead those days to accept that life didn’t necessarily have to mean anything. It was impossible to make them understand that it was absolutely okay to be born, live and die without doing anything remarkable in between. Just live with no miracles or uniqueness involved, just plain good biology. It was completely beyond his comprehension why humans would believe that crap, why there had to be something more to them, an inner light, a higher purpose, a meaning.

He certainly had underestimated Hybris. She had done an excellent job. Her priests had filled those poor people’s minds with lots of flattering stuff to help them cope with their unimportant, ugly lives and make money for the temple. It worked very well for the people and the temple.

The whole conception was so simple and yet dam clever. If someone convinces you that the universe has a plan just for you, you feel unique. You feel important. It made people get up in the morning because they now knew, that life would soon reveal their purpose. They only had to have their eyes, ears and hearts open to recognize the signs and most importantly, they had to be thankful every single day for everything life had given - or not given -them.
From that moment on, it was like a virus infection. Once you heard those words, you were instantly turned to a happy moron. You saw signs and meanings and messages from the gods all over the place and if kicked in the butt you were thankful for maybe this was a sign too.

Cerberus knew from the beginning that humans were badly fooled. After all he was immortal and had to live in the dark for an eternity. What kind of higher purpose would that be? And on top of it, he had to cope with hundreds dying every day complaining about their unfulfilled missions or surely having missed the signs, all ending up shouting and trying to escape from Hade’s Gates. And as the chief Guard of the Gates, Cerberus had to protect Hades image too.

He tried logic once “just because your parents abandoned you in the jungle, it doesn’t mean that you should become the Lord of the Jungle. Oh, and apes don’t always eat bananas”. Then he tried lies and even flattery “this is the most suitable place for your own personal mission. You know… the one the universe has just for you? You must certainly be the Messiah of Hades. Just wait for the signs and you will believe me”. Nothing worked. Someone already tricked by flattery isn’t easy to trick again unless you give him something a lot bigger. If one’s mind is already near the sun, being promised the moon is of no interest at all. You have to blow one’s mind sometimes.

The philosopher lit his pipe and exhaled a large cloud of smoke and then started making smoke rings looking very thoughtful. Cerberus tried not to keep his hopes high. One of the things he learned after dealing with dead philosophers all this time, was that whenever a philosopher doesn´t feel the need to grab his last chance for philosophy right away, then it is possible that he has nothing philosophic to say and most probably never had.

- The problem is, that you don´t value your existence enough.
- And how is that?
- You see our existence is a lot more than the things we already know my dear Cerberus. There are things beyond me and you. Beyond life and existence. Just waiting to be revealed.
- Oh? And what more would there be beyond life, death, Hades and the gods?
- I’m not talking about the present necessarily.
- Okay, you are telling me that there is life after eternity?
- I’m not talking about life after eternity. It's all about your life during eternity.
- What about it?
- Our life you see, has a higher purpose. The universe has a special plan just...
- ...for me?
- Exactly.
- And I suppose I have to keep my eyes, ears and heart open to recognize the signs?
- That's the spirit. And don't forget to be thankful...
- Oh, yes. That too. And your purpose in life? Has the universe revealed it for you?
- Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about in the first place. I need a favor. Tell me, are you acquainted with the philosophical term “unfulfilled missions”?

Inspired by: Atheist Ethicist :D


They lived happily ever after… ?

Once upon a time there was a place called Dystopia. Still is actually.
It's residents are mostly refugees. You see, every myth and tale has to end, so Dystopia is the only place in the universe where they are accepted. It's that famous place all mythical creatures can retire just after they hear the magical words “they lived happily ever after”.

Of course “happily” is a big word but if you are seven and you are already scared enough with monsters and witches, you desperately need a “happily ever after”; It is really not the moment to be acquainted with new words like “divorce”, “car accident”, “poissonous cherries” and “Cinderella's Hot line”.