Port Police

The Common Sense Advisor came in a rush into the prime minister’s office. He was carrying his big leather book too. It seemed serious.
- Did you ask for me sir?

The Town Of Everyday People had known better days. The so called Exceptional People were becoming more and more and there was nothing the prime minister could think of doing. No, it would’t show very nice to make them somehow… disappear. He was so puzzled about the situation because those people were members of great families, they were grown to be very Everyday People, just like their ancestors and relatives and friends but somewhere along the way something went very very wrong.

It seemed they just couldn’t think everydayish at all. They couldn’t stay in a job, they couldn’t communicate with others, they were causing trouble. They said they thought Big and they refused to even educate themselves. As they used to put it, there was no need for them to waste so much time in education just to end up an Everyday person with Everyday job in a Town of Everyday People. But apart that, they seemed to have the constant need of showing off. Most of them started exersising a lot, growing muscles, often acting crazy, shouting at Everyday People, calling them names and bullying kids around. And all that for no apparent reason since no one was talking to them or even dare to look at their faces. Something had to be done fast.

- Yes my good man. I mean, I could use some common sense right now.
- Certainly sir. How can I be of help?
- The Exceptionals. You know, the less Everyday People... They’ve become so many, I really can’t handle it anymore.

The Common Sense Advisor put his book on the desk. It’s title was carved in big black letters. “Common Knowledges” . He opened it, turned some pages and read: “The Exceptional People are estimated to be thousands nowadays. Usually by that number, only a few months are required before they take over a town.
The Prime Minister was now furious.
- This can’t be happening! What went wrong? And what can be done now? Is there anything that can be done anyway? Please my good man, tell me that you can help me!
- Sir, If I may, this is not a serious problem at all. You can easily overcome it. The book of Common Knowledges says it right here. The solution is more than obvious.
- Really? What does it say? Just tell me and I will do it right now!
- Common Knowledges says that by now, human nature has taught us that the Exceptional People only want one thing.
- And what is that?
- Power. Actually sir, they are born with a huge need to feel important, even though they can never be, as there is no possible way for them to gain power or respect. It’s a matter of brains, sir. Lack of them actually. Most of them know it though. That is why they need power. To hide it. They mostly seem to desperately need the kind of power to control others, which they assume to be the one to finally give them prestige. Or so they think. It doesn’t matter. Common sense almost shouts in my ear to give them that power.
- What? Are you crazy?
- Sir, it doesn’t have to be a real power. Just fool them. Easy task. For example, just create a position that sounds prestigious and powerful.
- Hmm…
- A position with special outfits. Ones, that will help bring up their muscles. Seriously, try really fancy uniforms and maybe big hats! Oh yeah and guns! They love guns!
- But aren’t guns slightly dangerous in their hands?
- Not so much sir. I mean they are but what do you prefer, some Everyday People shot or those morons taking over the whole place?
- I guess… they could kill one or two.
- It’s the only way common sense points at.
- So… policemen then.
- No, you don’t have to go that far. Maybe later. But first start low. You don’t want them wandering in our streets with guns. What about the sea?
- What about it?
- Assign them with the responsibility to guard our coasts, ports and sea borders. Double profit: power and getting rid of them.
- Brilliant! Port policemen it is! I'm naming this profession… Port Police! It is ok I guess, we can take it if they kill one or two, as long as they think they finally got power. Please go and start all preparations.
- Right away sir!
- And… and don’t forget the outfits! I want really fancy outfits!

Inspired by: One more police inflicted death: Igoumenitsa Port Police victim dies
In greek: Εξέπνευσε ο Κούρδος που είχε ξυλοκοπηθεί από λιμενικούς στην Ηγουμενίτσα


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Heaven

Living in Dystopia and having to face plain skinned reality is not something you are born with, you don’t choose it. Snow White would definitely prefer Disneyland, Hollywood or even Bollywood but she soon found out that ending up in Dystopia is not necessarily a bad thing; at least not all the times.

Of course, it is not easy for a foreigner to completely understand what it is like to be a Dystopian. Some days it feels like it just takes the happiness from your face and hides it so far away that only if you desperately want it back, you must climb the biggest mountain in Dystopia, kill a dragon, kill his dragon wife, kill their two dragon babies, find the princess, kill the princess, eat her heart and then finally you find your happiness*.

However, some other days, Dystopia is like heaven. You suddenly get the feeling that life just stopped, that time does not exist. The streets are now quiet, the sounds of birds and children are not heard anymore and everything is silent and calm. And although such feelings last only a few minutes before a huge storm, another Great Depression or any other disaster you have to cope with at least once a week, no one doubts that it still feels like heaven; only a hotter one.

  • *in a really nice place with kind people who will take care of you for the rest of your life for free. This is the main reason why you feel too obliged and you say nothing when they bring you presents, like those new clean white shirts with the long sleeves they insist on tying to your back.


    Inspired by: It's a Depression


Run

Climate in Dystopia is well, dystopic. Deserts are hotter, winters are harsher and in extremely rare cases, when for some mysterious reasons the gods feel sympathetic towards those Dystopians who could use some rain, it seems that they soon loose interest on the matter abandoning it or completely forget to stop*.

The bad climate in Dystopia causes almost everybody to move a lot. No one is ever satisfied with their home, no one lives in a normal place with normal conditions because simply there is no such place. So they move, two or even three times a year. If you want a summer or a winter you just travel. Fall is out of the question and if you wish for a spring, you literally have to go after it, as it passes for a few days every year through all the woods and fields, just to prevent nature’s fatal heart attack after the constant weather socks.

If you are a farmer you cultivate on the go by placing your field on wooden planks and wheels and drag it untill you find sun or rain. And then you run to save your life and crop.


*whoever wizard responsible for that mysterious humane force driving gods to this huge and unexpected act of humanism such as rain, should reconsider limiting the effect of his magic filter in human time as well, or else it won’t be so humane after all. Or give to at least one Dystopian the adequate time for an ark. Oh, and a wife.


Inspired by: Nature :(


They lived happily ever after… ?

Once upon a time there was a place called Dystopia. Still is actually.
It's residents are mostly refugees. You see, every myth and tale has to end, so Dystopia is the only place in the universe where they are accepted. It's that famous place all mythical creatures can retire just after they hear the magical words “they lived happily ever after”.

Of course “happily” is a big word but if you are seven and you are already scared enough with monsters and witches, you desperately need a “happily ever after”; It is really not the moment to be acquainted with new words like “divorce”, “car accident”, “poissonous cherries” and “Cinderella's Hot line”.